I am sitting up in bed trying to think of something nice to say about December, which has the habit of making your nose look like Rudolph.

I wouldn't mind it too much. But having antlers and a red nose just doesn't look right on me. I could try imagining that I was a centipede…however I am stuck with 2 legs and an unspecified number of feet. They are toes, actually.

However, one cold December midnight, I suddenly sat up with a bang and looking into the darkness saw a screen lit up with a picture of me with a clowns red nose and antlers spouting on my head

Most disturbing and the really frightening part of the whole vision was that I had a large string of Bratwurst wound around the antlers and I was being chased by a barrel of Sauerkraut dressed up in a Santa Claus suit. The terrible part of the whole thing was the Kris Kringle Kraut man was trying to smear Dusseldorf Mustard over my Bratwurst with his right hand and was tossing pickles at me with the other.

Scrooge couldn't top this with his vision of Marly, oh, and I forgot to mention I was dragging a chain made out of Kelbsa.

What a strange situation! I was saved by the appearance of Corn Beef Past and I turned into one of our Tiger, Tiger sandwiches (which is really a Rueben by another name).

Fortunately I was saved by falling out of bed. My vision vanished, but the strange part was that I was covered with Russian Dressing and I had Rye Bread under both arms.

The dream only occurs once a year after I have read Dickens Xmas Carol and have over done the Victorian Plum Pudding that I made according to Mrs. Beeton's recipe from 1846…and here it is.

Be careful: for it has been known to sink her Majesty's warships.

The Good Lord alone knows if the spirit of Corn Beef Past or the spirit of Pastrami Future had made the scene.

Maybe I should have gotten the recipe for Moon Pies or Little Debbie…

But back to Mrs. Beeton, "A Pound Plum Pudding"---Ingredients 1lb. Of Suet, 1lb. of Raisins, 8 eggs, 2 oz. of candied peel, a teaspoon of ground ginger, 1/2 lb. bread crumbs, 1/2 lb. of flour, 1/2 pint milk -- chop suet finely, mix dry ingredients with suet -- add beaten eggs and milk, beat up mixture well (or blend). If too dry, moisten with more milk. Form into a mound, tie in floured cloth and boil for 5 hours or more. Serve with Brandy Sauce. (Brandy Sauce -- 7 oz. Brandy, 2 oz. butter, 7 oz. Madeira wine, sugar to taste. Put sugar in basin with 1/2 of brandy and 1/2 of butter, warm until sugar and butter dissolve, add rest of brandy and wine, blend. Serve with pudding. Best advice. Drink Brandy and Madeira, put Pudding in cannon, fire at old barn and it will fall down -- Merry Xmas to Mrs. Beeton, the Queen and All.