I don’t know where I am, but I do know that I am somewhere between here and there. When I wrote this I was just home trying to make my hand writing legible, because what I am writing is even secret to me. I know if this gets printed, it will be in late winter.

I was in the hospital for a minor operation called the guillotine. All I have to say about that is that it itches. Actually, when I was in hospital, I kept dreaming about food. However, everything I dreamt about turned out to be a tired Nike and the taste was a bit gamy.

I remember as a young buck, I use to go hunting. Did you ever try to shoot a ripe sneaker at fifty yards? Bad dream! Don’t!

It is better when you think of weird things like real food such as you can find in recipes I have found in one of my books (cook, that is). I have a cook book written in 1860 or so by a former English lady. After you read it says best served thrown through a closed window on the top floor. No wonder the Brits had a huge Empire because if you could eat this stuff you could conquer the world.

If I conquered the world, I would make sure that everyone ate pizza for breakfast. Nothing like cold leftover pizza and flat beer at 7:30 AM.

The book I used to remember was Mrs. Beeton’s book of household management published in 1861. I don’t know what she was making reference to but this was against common taste and food.

Try this--potted hare. 1 hare, a few slices of bacon a large bunch of savory herbs, 4 cloves, ½ teaspoon of whole-spice, 2 carrots, 2 onions, salt and pepper to taste, 1 pint of water, 2 glasses of sherry. Skin, empty and crush the hare. Cut down the middle. Put in saucepan with few slices of bacon under and over it. Add the other ingredients. Stew very gently until hare is tender.

At this point stop and think why am I doing this? Look at the whole thing. Walk away from it without doing anything else and go to the nearest fast food joint. Leave it alone. Leave kitchen door open and hope deeply in your heart that a coyote would come in and eat the whole mess. Goodbye hare, goodbye coyote, and plain goodbye. (I have a big book of all of these recipes, period).