I thought I should write about the 4th of July. Everyone writes about Bastille Day in France and very little about the 4th of July. Furthermore, how does one " steal a bas"? I know where to find the 4th, because it is conveniently located between the 3rd and the 5th.

I know some poor souls would have rather have a 5th than a 3rd or a 4th. But in this "clean living age", I know of no one who drinks, let alone a 5th.

Let the French have the 14th; we'll take the 4th! Besides, I frankly can't see the French doing much with hot dogs, hamburgers, cold melon and Bud!

However, the French did have the Marquis de Sade was a little bit naughty and probably didn't bathe often enough. In fact the dear Boy was pretty darn naughty---let's not go into that

Madame de Sade would smuggle in salacious books like "The Little Train That Could" and Winnie the Pooh" for the sticky parts. Seriously, anyone, bears included, who would stick their hands or paws into a honey pot were most likely stuck up. This is getting a bit sticky. Instead, let's think of Hyattsville, Maryland.

If you can't bring yourself to think of Hyattsville, try something remotely in Afghanistan. Actually, not too many people in Afghanistan think about Hyattsville, which is a source of wonderment for me. Any way, or as they say in Yorkshire, England, any road, will think of Jim Beam and the correct way to grill a hamburger or microwave a cantaloupe.

Enough is enough!

To raise a lowly hot dog or hamburger to an "art form", try the following as a relish or side dish.

Combine a jar/can of sauerkraut (drained), 1/4 cup each of chopped green peppers, celery, and onion, 1/4 cup of sweet relish (drained), 1/2 cup of mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons (French's or Deli mustard), 1 tablespoon sugar, and 3 tablespoons ketchup.

Mix well. Add a dash (or more) of Tabasco sauce and chill. Pretty good!