Someone told one of my grandsons that I was crazy. That is a base canard. Wwo shrinks have assured me that I am adjusted to life. (On second thought they never said I wasn't crazy.) This all came about because the lad was at a party and a good old Gaithersburg girl said she had once worked for me and had seen someone being chased out of the restaurant by me with a cleaver in my delicate little hand. The story has absolutely no foundation in reality because it never happened in Gaithersburg.

It happened in Rockville. Now for the true circumstances. In those days going back to the early sixties, I did all the cooking and prep in a kitchen the size of a Porta-Potty. The situation was tense. The joint was loaded with luncheon customers and my blood pressure was way above the popping point and in the midst of all of this hysteria in marches my laundry delivery man making idiotic demands on my time (he had been told never to come in at lunch). I made a few threatening sounds that he seemed to ignore. At this point he appeared to me to be an immovable object that needed removing. Something clicked in my mind and I knew the situation needed rectifying.

So I went over to the opposite wall and pulled out the cleaver I had thrown into it earlier in the day during a period of frustration and I turned and chased the rascal through the restaurant with said cleaver. There was no real danger because I hadn't sharpened it that morning. He paused, dropped the laundry bag, jumped in his truck, went back to the laundry, threw the keys down and abandoned the job.

I thought this was a bit gauche on his part because I never, never make chopped live out of someone I don't like. It was ridiculous on his part.

Speaking of chopped liver, to make a nice liver pate' take a pound and a half of livers put them in a pan until covered with water about a half inch above them. Add 3/4 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, same of granulated garlic, toss in a wedge of onion. (a medium sized one if the Onion Fairy had been kind enough to give one when you had lost a tooth.) Bring to a boil and then turn to a simmering roll of the water--about 10 to 15 minutes, cook until the livers are no longer pink on the inside and feel done at a prick of the fork. (This may take less cooking time depending on the size of the livers.) Drain in a colander.

While they are simmering, fry off 4 strips of bacon to crispness, remove bacon, add 1/2 pound butter to bacon drippings and gently melt down. Take 6 ounces brandy, turn up heat on the bacon and butter mix, pour in brandy, heat for a minute or so and set fire to mix. Let it burn off. Put livers and crushed bacon bits in a bowl, pour the mix over them and mash and stir until smooth (works fine in a low speed blender). Cool in fridge until firm. Spread on a piece of baguette or cracker, wash down with a good red wine and glow. If you over glow, you might go in a slump. (That's it.)